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Jesus Anathema

Jan 19, 2019

269 Katselua
     (0 Arvostelu)

To all our churches, we feel the need to take urgent action against a troublemaker in our midst. He persistently tries to offend and torment, and considering the long-term pain he has caused and his unrepentant attitude, we will have to act together swiftly to silence him.

 

As it is known to all, this man pits himself loudly against the elders of our churches,

Is derogatory and insulting,

Refers to those he disagrees with as fools and devils,

Is prone to occasional violent and rage-filled outbursts,

Teaches as one with authority although our elders have given him none,

Will travel only with a small crew of his cult members, from whom he demands total loyalty,

Has an unstable tendency to pit himself against the world and demand it is the world that is wrong,

Is bent toward behavioral modification and human perfection,

Gives unwelcoming sermons that scare away the seekers,

Treats suffering like it is good,

Says everyone on the planet is evil,

Views himself as persecuted by the world,

Is extremely legalistic,

And above all is very unforgiving toward divorcees

 

Of course we all know who this trouble maker in our churches is. That is the teacher Jesus of Nazareth. We hereby declare that he shall not be permitted in our churches and nor shall he be allowed in our homes.

Let him be anathema.

Let him be anathema.

Let him be anathema.

 

 

*The above is satire, and is not meant to anathematize Jesus.


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